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Discussing Difficult Topics

Almon said that sometimes parents are afraid to bring up sensitive topics because it will give their kids ideas. Studies have shown that this isn’t the case.

Suicide is an example. It’s the 11th-leading cause of death among American youth, and suicidal thoughts have been increasing in kids in recent years. “Be straightforward,” Almon recommended. “Kids are smarter than we sometimes give them credit for. We can help the next generation manage things better by talking openly with kids today about suicidal thoughts and concerns.”

Firearm safety, sexuality, self-harm, substance use—these should also be routinely discussed in the home.

Ask, then listen. “Listen, validate and empathize,” Almon said.

“It’s normal for human beings of all ages to have complicated emotions,” Almon said. “Start talking to your kids at a young age about their feelings. Help them understand and give them words that can help them identify what they’re feeling.”

Just as you would encourage a child to tell you if they had a headache or their tummy hurt, it’s also important to teach them to describe their emotions, Almon said. Statements like “I’m feeling anxious today” or “I’m worried about…” should be part of normal conversation.

Almon recommends reading picture books about emotions to young children. “There are so many good, age-appropriate books now about topics such as divorce or death of a family member,” she said. “It’s a good, non-threatening way for parents to get their foot in the door.”

The National Alliance on Mental Illness offers a free, downloadable coloring and activity book in multiple languages called “Meet Little Monster.” The book helps kids name feelings they’ve experienced, such as “nervous” and “brave,” and make plans to respond to these feelings the next time they arise.

Watch for Depression and Anxiety

Depression and anxiety are the two most common mental health concerns Almon sees in her patients aged 10 and up.

“Bullying is a still a huge problem,” she said. “Social media, too. It showcases standards that we can’t live up to and harms kids’ self-esteem.” Anxiety and depression can be the result. And kids who are feeling anxious and depressed often turn to substance use to numb their bad feelings.

“Since COVID, I’ve seen an increase in social anxiety and agoraphobia among people of all ages,” Almon said, “including young people.”

Almon said if you’re not sure if a child is struggling with mental health, watch their behaviors. If they’re acting differently than they used to, that’s a sign that something may be going on.

“If we don’t know how to express or deal with what we’re feeling, it often comes out as anger,” she said. “When kids act out, they’re not trying to make our lives more difficult. They’re telling us that something is wrong. A formerly happy kid who’s now angry…that’s a big warning sign.”

Next Steps

If your child is struggling with any mental health issue and needs more support than your family can provide, it’s time to reach out to resources in the community. School counselors are a good place to start. Open Heart Advocates also provides resources and referrals.

Almon conducts therapy sessions with kids aged 10 and up. “We need to destigmatize the word ‘therapy,’” she said. “People who see a therapist should be applauded.”

The young people she sees in therapy are often eager to talk. “Many are able to express how they’re feeling, and they want to talk about it,” she said.